Sunday 29 April 2012

The End is Near;


Procrastination; a technique I have mastered in college. I think the fact that I get so tired helps me keep putting assignments off. I know I have an assignment due in a week, but I also know when I get finished with class at 5:30 and get done at the gym around 7, I will be exhausted. I will go home, force myself to eat before passing out for another night. Lately my procrastination has hit a whole new level. I finished my final project, it went up in the gallery and I felt accomplished and good about the work I put in the show. I was exhausted from all the effort I put into it in the leading weeks. When I was done and it was one thing off my list, I kind of felt like not working on anymore homework, like I was just done for the year. Too bad that’s not the case and I have about 6 more assignments to get on with.
Survival mode is something narcoleptics are familiar with, the times when either we weren’t medicated or we weren’t medicated properly. We do everything in our will power to remain functioning; we do everything to stay sane. I am properly medicated, I’ve got everything in order but if I don’t get that good nights sleep survival mode is within arms reach. If I miss 3 nights of a good nights rest, well survival mode is where I end up.
Last week I stayed up late watching a movie on Netflix, it was fine it was the weekend and I could sleep in the next day. I got 8 hours (weekends I usually get 10-12), woke up for practise. Sunday I hung out with a few friends, didn’t get to bed till about 1 or 2 am. Got 7 hours sleep. Was all right, took my supplements made it through the day but was super tired. Monday night however I was up working on a project I had completely procrastinated, left till the last minute. I had all the images I needed for this PowerPoint presentation but needed to learn my facts so I could give the expected 10-15 minute speech to the class. 11 o’clock at night I got off to a mediocre start, 11:30 a friend called crying. Next thing you know I am driving my friend to the emergency room and speaking to cop about domestic violence. At the end of the day, not upset about it, just happy she is all right and her boyfriend got dealt with appropriately. I finally got home that night at 2:30-3am. I still had to present my project in the morning at 11:30am. I still knew next to nothing about the facts to give that speech. I stayed up till 5:30am. Went to bed, woke up at 9:30, caught a ride to school with my roommate and managed to work a little more on the presentation. Worst part is that I worked so hard on the presentation but in our class we didn’t have time to get to my presentation, I now would have 2 more days till that class. I hate working hard on something that is due, completing it, then finding out I could have slacked and gotten away with it! That’s just the procrastinating mind speaking!
With all the lack of sleep, my mind was depleted I was struggling to stay awake; I was giving in to the horrid snacking/caffeine ritual to get by.  The next day I took a narcoleptic day and ended up skipping a class to go sleep. I didn’t even set my alarm to wake up. Four hours later I felt refreshed enough to do my homework then back to bed for some Netflix and a much needed nights rest. End of the school year means more stress and a lot of projects to keep track of for all my classes. I am extremely happy to see the end nearing!
College has taught me a lot; I’ve met a lot of people, had new experiences and just generally became a more independent person. I never expected college to be like this, and maybe it’s the fact that I attend a small college, but I’ve never experienced so much drama in one year of school. Seriously it blew my mind, we’re suppose to be adults, putting high school days behind us, yet I found everyone to be digging for drama. My parents would laugh at me for saying this, but I feel older than I am. I honestly feel like the amount of things I’ve accomplished, experienced, been part of and seen should put me at my Brothers age of 21. It seems silly, but when I put myself next to another 18 year old, it’s rare I find them mature enough or intriguing enough to have a somewhat serious conversation with. I also think it’s the fact that the degree I am going for (Photography) is such a short schooling that I feel like I’m starting a career earlier than most. It’s kind of intimidating to me, maybe it’s the reason I am intrigued by more schooling. I think that diving into a career at 18 or 19 when all my friends are just starting school is odd, maybe it’s the fact that it would make me feel like more of an adult and responsible and I don’t feel ready to stop goofing around and wasting away some of my teenage years. We all have to grow up, but stepping out of school and stepping into a career is a frightening move for me. Good thing it’s only a solid 7-8 months away.
13 Days till I am home in Canada
17 Days till I start my 8 week adventure backpacking Europe


Sleep Well fellow Narcoleptics!

3 comments:

  1. It's so interesting to read about your life. You give me so much insight into what life is like for a young adult narcoleptic. Even though my little narco is only 6 yrs old, I have so much hope for her future when I read about your life! :)

    And if it makes you feel any better, I graduated from college early too - the month I turned 20 and I started my career and moved out on my own at that age. It's all good and you can do it! It totally sounds like you are ready for it!

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  2. I'm sure you truly are more mature than other people your age. I see it a little in my daughter too. You are meeting adversity and excelling! When my daughter Cassie hears her team mates complaining, she's like "please...move over and let the narcoleptic girl show you how its done". :) Speaking of Cassie, she starts high school next year and is going through tryouts for the High School Volleyball team this week. Cross you fingers for her!

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  3. Thank you both, appreciate the feedback and kind words!

    Good luck to Cassie with High School, hopefully she finds it to be more fun than not! Also wishing her luck with Volley Ball try outs! Awesome to see/hear fellow narcoleptics engaging in sports!
    cheers! =)

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