be back in 7 weeks;

Time for me to embark on my adventure
I thought about posting blog updates on here but have decided its best not to
I am not sure how suited my blogs over the next 7 weeks will be to post here
Therefore I have started a new temporary blog.
Sleeping Around In Europe
Real clever.
You can choose to follow or not, but it's there for the next 7 weeks.
Have a good start to your summer!
I'll be back blogging and catching up on reading in time!

bittersweet;

Skipping a nap because you don’t want to miss out on something, not making a decision about plans for your Friday until you get the best offer, whatever it may be I am pretty sure I’ve been guilty. I’ve learned to stop having expectations, I’ve learned the less I know about a situation the better time I usually have. Things like asking whose all going to be there before I decide if I am going to go the social gathering or the party. Spur of the moment decisions are the best and I truly believe that, maybe that’s why I am good at procrastinating. That probably is the reason backpacking attracts me, not knowing exactly what I’m doing each day, it intrigues me I suppose. Too much of unknown things bored me…

Where am I going with this blog, I have no idea. I’ve had some difficulty staying sane these past few days. I have hated this city, I have loved this city, and I have resented being in this city, but yet I am not ready to leave. This city is nothing like home, not a place I dream of calling home, but it’s a city that I’ve had a lot of experiences in. Moving away, not knowing a single soul, living on my own, attending college. I wouldn’t say I am all grown up, but compared to 10 months ago, I feel like I have grown up.

I can’t find the time to pack, I have the time, I just can’t find the energy to pack up. It’s almost like I don’t want to leave, I am not ready to leave, and that’s why I can’t pack up my things. 10 months ago I wasn’t ready to leave, I was terrified of leaving home. I was terrified of loosing friends, missing out on things, not having experiences shared with my best friends. Now I’m terrified of leaving here and loosing friends. I only have a few months of being good friends with some of these people, how can I be sure in 80 or 90 days when I come back here that we can start where we left off? I can’t be sure, and for that I am bothered by it. My good friends back home, some of the best I know are people that I have shared many experiences with, we all keep in touch through blogging (personal blogs) and we all catch up within moments of seeing each other. I use to worry about getting off track, but I know now that we’re all capable of keeping in touch because I’ve lived through it. Having friends all over the map, well this is a new one. Although there are people here I don’t much care for, there are about 5 I do. Out of those 5, how many will I ever see again? It just is something that’s been on my mind, something that is making it difficult for me to pack my things.

Not everyone you meet, become friends with, or become best friends with are meant to stay in your life. No matter how much you want them too, every relationship you have is a two way street. It’s something I need to remember; I often find myself working hard to keep a friendship alive when in the end my time could be better spent. My friendships made here, everyone that walked in and out of my life, either made my time here more enjoyable or taught me a lesson. I guess it’s time I leave I it up to faith to decide who sticks around in my life and who was only temporary.

While I’ve just posted about meaningless thoughts, I think its time I cracked a beer open and went to work on packing my things. I’ll end this with some pictures as some of you have requested I post pictures more often! ;) Also, i get i am going to school for photography...don't mind the complete %#^$ quality of the following photographs, they were all taken with my ipod touch! Haha!

 Happy thoughts

Day of setting up gallery; notice the tea in hand. Tired Narcoleptic!

Images up on the wall, all printed at 20" x 30"

Opening Night of the Gallery, Happy Narcoleptic!

Abstract Painting I had to make for class

Self Portrait Painting I had to make

Painting I made for a good friends birthday (his favourite cartoon!)

Drawing before painting it, from the movie UP! by Pixar

Final Painting, Up! by Pixar

Lady & The Tramp, Just a painting I did for fun 

The End is Near;

Procrastination; a technique I have mastered in college. I think the fact that I get so tired helps me keep putting assignments off. I know I have an assignment due in a week, but I also know when I get finished with class at 5:30 and get done at the gym around 7, I will be exhausted. I will go home, force myself to eat before passing out for another night. Lately my procrastination has hit a whole new level. I finished my final project, it went up in the gallery and I felt accomplished and good about the work I put in the show. I was exhausted from all the effort I put into it in the leading weeks. When I was done and it was one thing off my list, I kind of felt like not working on anymore homework, like I was just done for the year. Too bad that’s not the case and I have about 6 more assignments to get on with.

Survival mode is something narcoleptics are familiar with, the times when either we weren’t medicated or we weren’t medicated properly. We do everything in our will power to remain functioning; we do everything to stay sane. I am properly medicated, I’ve got everything in order but if I don’t get that good nights sleep survival mode is within arms reach. If I miss 3 nights of a good nights rest, well survival mode is where I end up.

Last week I stayed up late watching a movie on Netflix, it was fine it was the weekend and I could sleep in the next day. I got 8 hours (weekends I usually get 10-12), woke up for practise. Sunday I hung out with a few friends, didn’t get to bed till about 1 or 2 am. Got 7 hours sleep. Was all right, took my supplements made it through the day but was super tired. Monday night however I was up working on a project I had completely procrastinated, left till the last minute. I had all the images I needed for this PowerPoint presentation but needed to learn my facts so I could give the expected 10-15 minute speech to the class. 11 o’clock at night I got off to a mediocre start, 11:30 a friend called crying. Next thing you know I am driving my friend to the emergency room and speaking to cop about domestic violence. At the end of the day, not upset about it, just happy she is all right and her boyfriend got dealt with appropriately. I finally got home that night at 2:30-3am. I still had to present my project in the morning at 11:30am. I still knew next to nothing about the facts to give that speech. I stayed up till 5:30am. Went to bed, woke up at 9:30, caught a ride to school with my roommate and managed to work a little more on the presentation. Worst part is that I worked so hard on the presentation but in our class we didn’t have time to get to my presentation, I now would have 2 more days till that class. I hate working hard on something that is due, completing it, then finding out I could have slacked and gotten away with it! That’s just the procrastinating mind speaking!

With all the lack of sleep, my mind was depleted I was struggling to stay awake; I was giving in to the horrid snacking/caffeine ritual to get by.  The next day I took a narcoleptic day and ended up skipping a class to go sleep. I didn’t even set my alarm to wake up. Four hours later I felt refreshed enough to do my homework then back to bed for some Netflix and a much needed nights rest. End of the school year means more stress and a lot of projects to keep track of for all my classes. I am extremely happy to see the end nearing!

College has taught me a lot; I’ve met a lot of people, had new experiences and just generally became a more independent person. I never expected college to be like this, and maybe it’s the fact that I attend a small college, but I’ve never experienced so much drama in one year of school. Seriously it blew my mind, we’re suppose to be adults, putting high school days behind us, yet I found everyone to be digging for drama. My parents would laugh at me for saying this, but I feel older than I am. I honestly feel like the amount of things I’ve accomplished, experienced, been part of and seen should put me at my Brothers age of 21. It seems silly, but when I put myself next to another 18 year old, it’s rare I find them mature enough or intriguing enough to have a somewhat serious conversation with. I also think it’s the fact that the degree I am going for (Photography) is such a short schooling that I feel like I’m starting a career earlier than most. It’s kind of intimidating to me, maybe it’s the reason I am intrigued by more schooling. I think that diving into a career at 18 or 19 when all my friends are just starting school is odd, maybe it’s the fact that it would make me feel like more of an adult and responsible and I don’t feel ready to stop goofing around and wasting away some of my teenage years. We all have to grow up, but stepping out of school and stepping into a career is a frightening move for me. Good thing it’s only a solid 7-8 months away.

13 Days till I am home in Canada

17 Days till I start my 8 week adventure backpacking Europe

Sleep Well fellow Narcoleptics!

Long Awaited;

I owe you all an update on my life. I am sorry to those who actually read this blog on a regular basis, but I have been lacking this past month! I am going to blame it on life and me having my priorities somewhat in a scuffle. I am not slacking in school or anything but I have added more to my daily plate with workouts and it seems to be bettering me but also knocking time out of my day to finish everything; hence me failing to blog regularly.

For starters school is in the last stretch, close to finishing up this photography program and having all these late nights and tedious projects be worth it. My painting and drawing class aka 2D Design has been a rather large learning curve for me. I can honestly say this class has been enlightening to me. It has helped my photography in the sense of thinking about composition in a more thoughtful way, and really thinking about how colours communicate to a viewer different emotion. For that I am thankful I took the class, for the amount of work it put me through each week outside of class I dread it!

My intermediate photography class has a project that lasts 5 weeks; each week you take 576 photographs. Each week you print your 5 favourites, get a critique from your classmates and move on. At the end of it all you choose 20, they have to have a common theme, they have to flow together. It’s been challenging for me, I chose night shooting; it’s my favourite time to shoot inanimate objects. The sun goes down around 830pm right now, which leaves me photographing late at nights. It’s hard to always find people to tag along with me, and it’s hard to take 576 photographs a week when one photograph has the exposure of 30 seconds!! It will definitely be interesting selecting my final 20, not sure where I am going with this project!

My Photo lighting class has been enlightening; we had a guest speaker the other day. He is a commercial photographer who makes a living off of photographing inanimate objects. He photographs anything from air duct systems to construction sites. He does a lot of work, and makes a good living off of it. After listening to him talk, and hearing what he does each day to make his living, I have decided that I love photographing people, and the commercial side is something that I don’t see myself in. Although I could make money photographing a piping system, I don’t get the enjoyment out of photographing something I can’t interact with. As far as the class goes, it is kicking my ass right now. Having to book studio time and not being able to take lighting equipment off campus for a shoot makes it crucial that I plan a schedule and that I make use of my 2 hours in the studio. Almost done though!

Art Portfolio is my photography class in which has a gallery showing where we show a project that we’ve made out of our own passions. Ongoing projects are more about fine arts and creating a series of themed images based on an interest or investigating a topic. For me I investigated self-image and how we as humans (mainly females) have learnt to see ourselves. It was an interesting project for me, I don’t see myself as self-conscious so I’ve never really thought about it. Exploring self-image allowed me to really see the issues women have with themselves these days, the constant need to change the way they look. I am happy with the outcome of my images, and I am happy to have them in this gallery showing. I however am intrigued to hear the responses from those viewing them. The show opens April 17^th, so I will let you know the response I get from everyone! I will also post images of them up in the gallery!

Now that we are up to date on school I will fill you in on my spare time! I am still taking the energy supplement V16 Energy Drink from Advocare. It is still working wonderfully and is a great pick me up before my daily workouts. I have started to workout in a more intense manner than before. After soccer season I would run, I would do stairs, simple things here and there to maintain my shape. Now however I have decided to step it up, running at least 2 miles a day and working in either an arm workout or legs. On top of this all, a few of us soccer girls have been doing sprints to help get us back in “soccer season” shape. Although it’s making me extremely sore and tired in the moment… I am finding it giving me more energy in the long run! Having teammates to train with is just making it that much easier to stick with; motivation is always around me!

That is that for the update!  I get to go back to Canada in 34 days, I will be leaving to Europe in 38 days and really I just want to get my summer on the way! I am incredibly excited for what this summer will bring, a huge learning curve will probably be on order the moment I set foot in Europe. Until then, time to remain focused on school and getting myself out of here sane!

Till next time! 

Spring Break;

Spring break has never been so needed. I am going to love every single one of the 10 days off. I am exhausted; I have been in deep waters with my photography classes, finishing projects, starting new projects. It’s a never-ending circle.

My art portfolio class, although it only meets once a week, it is pretty demanding. We have had to create a lot of paper work that will eventually help us get a job in the art industry should we choose to. A lot of work sheets, papers, self-exploration on who influenced us as artists, who we want to be as an artist, what our final project is about. It’s demanding and I haven’t written so many papers since probably tenth grade. It’s worthwhile, just time consuming. I am usually good with words when I have to write them down, but writers block and procrastination have allowed me to stay up till the wee hours of the morning in attempts to meet deadlines.

2D design is a class that really has no photography aspects, we work on painting, drawing, perception projects, anything art related and complicated is probably how I would describe it. Our latest and greatest project is a self-portrait. Can you say awkward? I can, I can also say I find it kind of almost creepy drawing myself, and then staring at a portrait of myself to make sure while painting it turns out exactly like the picture. Yeah not a huge fan of the project, but thankfully it’s not due until after spring break! I also got my midterm grade for this class, 84% also known as a B. This is exactly what I was shooting for in this class, now I just need to keep it going for the next two months.

Intermediate Photo class is going well, for being a photo class we’ve learned a lot about software. It has been extremely helpful, not that I want to edit or “photoshop” my images but its helpful to know how! The simplest thing like a smudge in the mirror can be magically erased with the simplest of knowledge. It’s been helpful to say the least. Our final project for that class is to take 3000 pictures on a basic theme and then once May comes around we are to pick our top 20 to print and hang. It’s supposed to help us realize what goes into a “body of work”. I think 4 weeks to expose 3000 themed pictures is a bit insane, but then again I do have a lot of other photo classes to be working on. I am thinking my theme will be night shots, I love night shooting and I love black and white images, and together they always turn out pretty cool!

Photo Lighting class, oh boy oh boy. That is one class that I have learned a lot in and one class that has made me realize I will never work a 9-5 job doing studio shoots. Setting up and taking down a lighting set up is painful, and I only enjoy it when it’s for my own creative thoughts/images. If it’s for a commercial or still life image, count me out. I have come to realize I like working with people and the natural still life outdoors. Bring in still life to “set up” and aesthetically position for ONE picture… no thank you. Not my thing, it’s cool and I enjoy looking at pictures of it…you just wont find me making images of still life in a studio. I like shooting a subject I can interact in.

That about wraps up my crazy life. This break I am going to begin my night scene shooting, finalize my final art portfolio project/resume/bio/artist statement and also get in some quality sleep. This break will be slightly different than the last ones, as my friends from home are still in class they don’t have break when I do. I am fine with that though, all I want to do is sit in front of the television and sleep.

I know what you did;

Where to begin, seriously this weekend probably could have gone a lot better. It felt straight out of a movie: a high school movie that is! These two girls got in a huge fight…wait for it… what was it about? A boy of course! Haha seriously, I wouldn’t be blogging about it except for the fact that my name got brought up in it, and somehow this chick “knows what I did.” Oh snap, someone knows what I did? Shoot, ha because I have no idea what I did. Apparently I started the drama because I wanted to see the two girls fight. Yup, I am that girl…Not. Never blame the guy in the situation though…they’re always the masterminds I swear! Anyways, I’ll take it…if people want to say silly things I’ll let it happen. As long as I know that I didn’t do anything I’m content with it. Reading Facebook statuses have been fun to say the least.

About the spark energy drink/supplement I started. Well just kidding I actually decided to go with one slightly different…it has no caffeine but all the same vitamins and energy components. It’s been amazing! 10 days in and its helped a lot. I don’t feel jittery, I can still nap when I get the chance, but I can make it through the day! I am pleased with it, no need for a boost in my drugs when I can take the natural supplements! Hooray

The link for what I’m taking is as follows! Check it out

 V16 Energy Drink

I had a five-day weekend because of president’s day and a staff development day. Did I get any days off? Ha not really, I was in the studio twice today for two different photo shoots. I was not having it with the studio today, my ideas sounded/looked so good in my head. Apparently on camera it proved otherwise. I guess I have to acknowledge this as being something that is going to happen time to time. Learn from it, plan better next shoot…right!?

These next 15 days are going to be crazy for me, I have a lot of written assignments due, a student exhibition to enter for the gallery showing that displays artists within our school. On top of this all, I still have to attend all my classes and take a million more pictures. Taking pictures sounds so easy for homework, but gosh one can only have so much creativity for four different photo classes! I will be searching for inspiration these next two weeks. After that I get a wee bit of a break; Canada here I come! I am so excited to go home; not even to see my friends, but just to have days to myself to veg. I need them!

Just a quick update, I need to head to bed! Got a full day tomorrow, I need this 9 hour sleep!

Night, night!

Back on Track;

This semester is one that is going to be tougher than the last, my Monday through Thursdays are absolute hell for narcolepsy. I am beginning to feel my body deteriorate and barely having enough time to recuperate on the weekends. I have had little time to have a nap on my days of school, and when I do get to nap it's not until 6 or 7pm. If I nap at that time, I am up later doing homework. It's a viscous circle, I can't seem to win. On top of this all I am finding myself going back into the days of "survival mode". Survival mode for me is back when I didn't have the knowledge of narcolepsy and I clearly wasn't medicated. Survival mode involves eating more than I need too, drinking high sugar drinks, high caffeine drink and well doing all that unhealthy shenanigans just to get myself through the day! Sure I am surviving but I am killing my body and having crashes that are far worse than they need to be.
Time for me to get a new plan, get back on track for working out. I need to find the energy to work out because working out helps my overall energy and feeling good about my self is always a plus! I have gained a few measly pounds, nothing serious but because I have noticed I need to get rid of them! I am by no means over weight for my height/age, but my ideal weight is about 5-10 pounds lighter.
I've done my research, asked around about different ideas for having a higher energy diet. Maybe finding some supplements that can help me and my body find the energy/will to do everything I need to do. What I have found is Spark Energy Drink. Its distributed by AdvoCare and honestly a lot of the athletes at my school are using it. Some may not need it, but this narcoleptic is wanting to give it a try.
AdvoCare Spark Energy Drink Info
Click the link if you want to see what it is. I have it ordered and am looking forward to hopefully seeing/feeling the benefits! Next on the list is cutting out these sugar snacks! I eat them to keep me awake, they work for the purpose intended. They also work against me in being unhealthy, and causing me to crash faster. Looks like I will be purchasing healthier snack ideas and limit myself to one in between my two classes. Hopefully the spark drink will be enough!
I guess I will start with Spark and see where it takes me. I still take my Vitamin C and my Women's One a Day as supplements and they seem to help. At least I feel like I notice when I forget to take them!!
Alright that's the narcoleptic update for you!
Next is three images that are the start for my final project. They are watermarked because images I post on here can easily be found on google, or taken. Since it is my final project that will end up in my schools gallery showing, I don't want the risk! My final project is basically about how women are influenced by society as to how they view themselves. A self image project perhaps looking at the negative/positive effects society has on our perception on our self.
Have a good weekend!