Monday 24 December 2012

Book Review: Wide Awake And Dreaming

Merry Christmas!


It was an honor and a pleasure to be able to read a book that so much heart and passion was put into. Wide Awake and Dreaming was a trouble-free read that left me consuming the novel all in one day.
Julie Flygare has been an inspiration to me since day one of my diagnosis of both Narcolepsy and Cataplexy. Ever since finding her REMrunner blog I have had a constant positive role model who made a choice to overcome Narcolepsy, not suffer from it. Three years have passed and her writing has been an endless source of positive energy and has contributed to creating my own positive future.
In the beginnings of her book I found myself relating to every single question she raised on her pursuit to a diagnosis. The detail and the description Julie writes with had me questioning if in fact I wasn’t reading my own memoir. Whether she was sleeping in class or thinking up absurd ways to stay awake I was right there reminiscing my High School days. Julie sent me on a roller coaster of emotions; her words brought laughter, but they also brought tears as I was reminded of some of my own darkest day. It’s a book of struggles, lost dreams, uncertainty, but most of all it’s a book about rising above an illness and achieving what once was the unthinkable.
            The community of narcoleptics or PWN (person with narcolepsy) owes a huge thank you and a huge round of applause to Julie for not only writing a book, but for writing a memoir we all can relate to. Flygare’s writing goes into detail about the challenges we face not just with the sleepiness but the emotional and physical battles we constantly endure. Julie continues to be a upbeat advocate for people living with Narcolepsy with contagious optimism. I thank her for having the courage to talk about her narcolepsy/cataplexy in such a raw way but also for being brave enough to let it hit the shelves.
            I strongly recommend and encourage Wide Awake and Dreaming. It’s a must read for anyone who has encountered Narcolepsy and or Cataplexy, whether you are a family member, a friend, or the person who is confronting it first hand you will find inspiration and endless knowledge in all 213 pages! 

The Memoir can be found and purchased below:

Monday 17 December 2012

Jumble of Irrelevant Thoughts;

Six Meaningless Meanderings

  • Exams and studying sucks therefore I have managed to procrastinate and find myself on blogger rather than buried in my text book.
  • This morning during my last lecture for Financial Accounting I came to the realization that there are three days left of school and I have yet to even comprehend what happened in the first three weeks of my Accounting class.
  • I have acquired a lot of stuff in just two years, I have a lot of clothes, a lot of shoes and by a lot I actually mean I have too many to fit in three bags.
  • I am super excited for Thursday because Thursday is when school is over, and Thursday is when I get to go to the cities to spend my last night with my best friend. We will be eating junk food and drinking wine, and celebrating the end of both our times here at this particular college.
  • Not only do I get to see my family on Friday but I get to see my favourite thing in the entire world, my dog Puma. I love the excitement she feels when I come home, seriously everyone should own a dog at least once in there life so they know how awesome it is to come home to one.
  • Tomorrow I am suppose to receive my copy of Julie Flygare's first book "Wide Awake and Dreaming". I am beyond excited to read it on my flight home! Everyone I know, everyone who knows me or anyone with narcolepsy needs to read it. I haven't even read it yet but I know she's a phenomenal writer based off reading her blog the past three years! 


Five Things I Will Miss

  • College soccer, a few of my teammates and the structured daily workouts that have kept me motivated and in shape up until now
  • The fact that I could basically walk anywhere and everywhere and a car payment and gas money were irrelevant
  • Photography Class & Art Students, being surrounded by art students and other photo students totally inspires you to try new things, explore new medias and all around just sparks your creativity. I will miss walking through those halls and seeing what everyone is up to these days!
  • The Independence and ability to literally do whatever I want, whenever I want and having no one around to judge me for staying in my pajamas all Sunday
  • I babysat a little girl named Abbey for the past year and a half, she is Four and really was a fun kid to be around. I will miss her and her awesome jokes. :)

Four Things I Look Forward Too
  • Free Food, Free Laundry, and the occasional home cooked meal.
  • Cable, It will be so nice to have a television again and being able to watch Ellen Degeneres and to watch Criminal Minds. 
  • My family obviously, and my friends too. I will be able to see them when I want and catching up will no longer rely on a good internet connection for skype.
  • Making money rather than spending money, it will be so nice to work again, I cannot wait to work my way out of this debt!

Three Things I Learned
  • My dad was always a hard ass, my rules were sometimes strict but damn while moving out was a fun experience it definitely made me realize why my parents had rules. I may live in an apartment with "no rules" but some of these kids here have no morals and no conscience...So I suppose I learned to appreciate my parents a little bit of a lot more.
  • Balance is key, my health comes first and a healthy balance is sometimes hard to maintain when there are one too many things I need to do and ten too many things I want to do. Narcolepsy can become ten times worse in just 24 hours of neglect, and it can take a lot longer than 24 hours to get it back on track.
  • Just because you are good at something does not mean you have a responsibility to pursue it; Two All American Awards does not mean I need to go to any school to play soccer, it simply means I worked hard to get where I am and I am happy with where I am. If I wanted to be somewhere or if I wanted to do something, I would be there doing it. So to all the football boys and to the few soccer girl: I am happy not playing in the states anymore, I am happy pursuing my passions of traveling and photography.


Two Things I Highly Recommend You Do Over The Holidays


One Thing I Will Do Today
  • Ace my final exam in my Business Retailing Class.

Happy Holidays!

Sarah Beaulieu

Saturday 17 November 2012

You Might Want to Take Notes;


The thing I remember most about my narcolepsy when I was undiagnosed was school. Well that might be an ironic statement, I don’t remember much of school, I remember the struggle of school. I recall going to class and leaving class but never recall being in class. I would go home for the evening open up my notebook and see scribbles of notes I attempted to take. I would see the homework assignment, my notes, and realize I really don’t know how to do any of this. I am the type of person who hates asking for help, therefore I simply would just not do my homework, the vicious circle formed and soon I was slipping in class.
Now in college and having been diagnosed I am able to keep it together enough for classes...most of the time. This past week however I have had my fair share of micro sleeps and naps in class. While asleep I somehow always manage to still take notes…they never really make sense though…
What my writing usually looks like
Some Scribbles I apparently did...
What my writing turned into...really helpful notes ;)
Anyways haha, thought I would share my very informative notes I managed to make this week while sleeping in class.
Cheers

Sarah

Sunday 21 October 2012

worst kind of heartbreak;


Nothing says heartbreak like playing your last college game in America. Today was the end of it all, I knew going into the game that it could be my last game, but I never figured it would legitimately be my last. I pictured placing the ball in the back of the net a thousand times, got a good nights rest, stayed hydrated, iced, did everything in my own power I could to be prepared for today’s game. We all know that one person can’t win the game. It takes a team to win, and that’s something that this years group lacked. We weren’t ever a team, we faked it, and there was always drama between two or more people. It was just not our year, too bad for us sophomores because it was pretty apparent out there that we wanted it.
We had a brilliant first half, never gave up, and had great shots against our opponent. Sadly out of the 14 on net we came up with zero goals. The opponents well they had a total of 4 shots and 1 goal. Second half I felt like we put up a fight, we didn’t fight to win we fought to stay alive. I don’t think all of us can say we played our hearts out, I know we all didn’t leave everything we had in us on the field. That is what really gets to me. When I look at the clock, I am telling myself, 45 minutes left and you get that break, 30 minutes left, 10 left leave it all on the field, I even say it to my teammates…yet it didn’t get through. I don’t know if they just aren’t mentally strong or if they just don’t give a shit. Either way, I can’t change the outcome. I’m not happy with the end result, but I am certainly not disappointed with my own performance. Yes I could have better finished my shots, but I got shots away and I gave amazing passes to my teammates. I gave it my all, and although it wasn’t enough, I can’t be upset with myself. It was a great experience playing here in the states; it allowed me to do a lot of growing up. This won’t be the last game I play but it is the last game I will be playing here in the states. It’s a saddening way to go out, but it is what it is and I can only grow from it.
Now for the nine-hour bus ride home with a team that hates themselves and hates each other…oh joy.

Wednesday 17 October 2012

My Parents are Pretty Smart;


I know I got lucky in the world of supportive family members when it comes to Narcolepsy. I have met many narcoleptics over the years of all ages, and honestly one of the main issues and contributors to their uncontrolled narcolepsy was the lack of support they got from there loved ones. It’s a huge stress when you feel misunderstood, when you constantly have to explain yourself or simply when someone says it’s all in your head. Trust me, I’ve been told plenty of times by peers, teachers, coaches and even teammates that it is all in my head or come on you can’t be that tired… or my favorite You’re lucky you can sleep whenever. It use to drive me nuts, it use to hurt my feelings, but sometimes you have to let those things go and just deal with the ones who understand or try to understand.
Lately I’ve had a tough go of it, I couldn’t even find the time to think any of my issues through, I felt like I was 14 again…Waking up and wondering when I fell asleep, wondering how long I’ve been out, and oh @!%# what time is it; am I suppose to be somewhere?! It’s an awful feeling but it’s a feeling all narcoleptics are faced with.
I finally had a bit of a break down last night, a bit of a realization thanks to my parents. I am finished my Photography certificate, the main reason I came to school in the first place. I only came back this year to play soccer and it was my choice to take on this Business Management Certificate. It was my decision, my parents had no influence on it, and I wasn’t trying to prove anything to anyone but myself. I hate failure; I hate struggling and worse I hate asking for help. With classes this year I am uninterested, unmotivated and struggling to find the time to do all the homework requirements. My schedule is busy, my narcolepsy gets worse with stress and with the never ending homework I am having trouble staying awake long enough to enjoy any of this school year. Did I mention I came back this year for fun, for the enjoyment of one more soccer season? Yes, apparently somewhere in the past 2 months I forgot to remind myself why I am here. Thankfully during a phone call with my two wonderful parents last night they reminded me to slow down, my health comes first. I’m not going to be disappointing anyone if I don’t pass a class, I’m not going to be a failure if I don’t get this certificate that I don’t need. I need to start remembering to eat, remembering to sleep, and reminding myself that I have 2 months left and this experience is over…I need to enjoy it and be able to look back on the good times, not the time I slept through it all!
Now I am saying screw grades, screw trying to get all A’s and B’s when I can have all C’s and D’s. My future is not at risk by taking these grades; I already accomplished good grades in my passion of Photography.
Now I must get back to homework so that I can go out to a movie tonight after practice…I need to have a social life again.
Cheers!

P.s
I am glad I have the parents I do, I never feel like I can't talk to them, I am constantly supported in all that I do, and most of all I am surrounded by their love. I couldn't ask for anything more from them, so thank you Mom & Dad.

Friday 12 October 2012

My Bad;


We ended up loosing a game that we shouldn’t have lost, apparently loosing that game called for a 6am practice the next morning along with our usual 2pm practice. I understand our coach’s point but damn narcolepsy was not ready for this. My sleep schedule has been a little screwed as of late, simply just get 6-7 hours each night, going to 9am class and then sleeping 1-2 hours from 10-12 before heading to the training room. Not my ideal sleep schedule but I’ve been surviving. Throwing a 5am wake up call at me so that I could be at the school for 530 was not pretty.
I told myself I would go to bed early, I told myself I would shoot for 8 hours of sleep, 9pm bed time? Next thing you know its 10 and I’m not tired. I took some sleeping meds, tried to sleep but it was almost like narcolepsy had disappeared. I finally dosed off around 11:30 only to find myself awake at 1230, 2, 345, and 430. No such thing as sleeping the whole night through for this narcoleptic!
Now with it being 5am or 6am I can’t exactly take my meds or I’ll be passing out in class or passing out in the afternoon. I can’t exactly screw with the times I take it each day, especially that early in the morning. Well practice was a challenge but I did it. Next thing you know its 730 and I had class at 9am. Caitlin and I decided we would go to this really yummy bagel café, Brueggers. We had a delicious breakfast and then headed to school. I got there at 830; I was by myself, which probably was my first mistake. I had taken my Concerta, but apparently I was so far past tired that it wasn’t even going to make a difference. I took a seat down in the atrium, all I had to do was make it through 30 minutes then I would be in class able to listen to the instructor, doodle, etc. for 50 minutes. I was texting people to keep me awake, next thing you know I’m waking up and checking my phone. 920. Whoops, not what I had planned. How many people saw me asleep, how long have I been asleep!? I’ve missed 20 minutes of class and I am far too embarrassed to even think about walking into class late. I walked home, and went straight to bed. Fell asleep and slept for 3 hours straight. Felt so good to sleep but missing class kind of was a buzz kill. Oh well, can’t have everything.

Friday 5 October 2012

Don't Understand What I Understood;

Financial Accounting is the hardest class I have ever taken simply because I find nothing fun about it. I honestly feel like it is the last career I ever want to engage in, and it mind boggles me that my brother is an accounting major. This class which is Monday to Thursday 9-10am is just a huge mind explosion in the morning. Miss a single class and you will sit there having an anxiety attack for the rest of the classes during that week. Not to mention the minimum of an hour of homework each night that he assigns, an hour is for those who completely understand it...I usually take a wee bit longer!
Basically what I am trying to say is that this class is not for me, and I honestly feel lost in it as if I literally don't comprehend a single thing in the class. The messed up part of it all is that my grades are awesome in the class. I have yet to fail a pop quiz, assignment or an exam...knock on wood. 87% in the class currently which works out to be a B+. It frustrates me to no end though that I don't understand how I am getting these grades, I walk away from each test thinking "I hope those guesses will get at least some half points". Anyways, that's the life of school I suppose, can't understand everything, but I'll take the pass in the class.
In other news soccer is going well this season, I really hope it continues this way through Regionals which is in two weeks. Provided we win Regionals we will find ourselves packing our bags to head to Nationals which is once again in Dryden, New York. Fingers crossed we make it happen! My body is falling apart, but taping my ankles before every game and practice has allowed me to continue to participate and play my 90 minutes. I can rest mid November when it all is over!
I am off to hang out with a few teammates for the evening. Tomorrow we have our home game in the evening at 7pm. During the day I plan on attending the Mens Football game which is also home! Should be a windy day so I'll be dressing warm!!!
Happy Napping!  =)

Saturday 29 September 2012

Nailed it;

Trying to describe what it feels like to have narcolepsy is next to impossible, you have so many things you want to try to explain but its sometimes too frustrating to try and give a good description.
I just finished reading Julie Flygare's recent blog and honestly it is the best blog post I've read in a long time.
Seriously take a look and read through it, it nails narcolepsy and what most of us narcoleptics have gone through. Whether we were surviving before we were diagnosed or we are at the point when we have it "together" enough to function as a normal human being we still have our daily struggles with daytime sleepiness.

Best most relatable article I'll be reading in a long time!

Sleep's Choice: Living with Narcolepsy's Excessive Daytime Sleepiness

Happy Reading! =)

Sunday 23 September 2012

Sleep Schedule Nightmare;

My Life Story Lately
In hopes of finishing homework and staying awake enough to understand it all I've been eating some extremely sugar filled snacks and drinks. Pop seems to be a working substance for the short term but certainly not the long term. This needs to stop, and hopefully will end when I purchase more Advocare tonight. That V16 energy drink is going to come in handy once again! I can no longer keep staying up till 1am just to finish homework. Living on 7 hours sleep and three naps a day is a nightmare when I have school, soccer, babysitting and homework on my plate. Time to sort my schedule out and start getting that 8-10 hour sleep with the chance of one to no naps a day!
Sunday is now my day to catch up on homework, heres to countless hours in front of the big book of Financial Accounting!

Thursday 6 September 2012

one crazy month down, 4 to go;


If anyone other than my parents still reads this I owe you an apology. I am sorry, I haven’t forgotten about this blog I just haven’t had moments to myself in the past 30 days. I haven’t blogged on a bi-weekly or monthly basis in a long time. I vow to make a better effort starting now.
For starters, this month has been crazy busy. It started out with preseason; practising twice a day for 16 days. First day we did a fitness test, I finished top two much to my surprise. Second day I was in the top 3 for sprints and at the second practise on the second day… Just my luck I ended up getting injured. I basically took a tackle from behind when I had the ball, toppled over on my ankle and took a pretty good step on the side of my ankle. Yes it hurt, but I was more heartbroken about the amount of practise I’d be missing, the amount of fitness I’d be missing. It was tough, but with crutches and a walking cast I made my recovery in 10 days. No the swelling wasn’t completely out, nor was the bruising, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from playing in our scrimmage games. The tape job is practically a cast, but it allows me to play with no pain! Haha. This just might be my last college season, this just might be the end of my competitive role in the world of soccer, and therefore I definitely am going to make the most of it. I won’t be sitting out, no way no how.
Our scrimmage games went well, we lost the first one 2-0, but honestly for our team having been new and all the injuries we were going through I was thoroughly impressed. The second scrimmage we worked hard, hard enough to win against our opponent with 2-1. The game really could have gone either way, but we were working really well together as a team.
Our first game of the season, our first game of our conference was in Bismarck, North Dakota. Approximately a 9-hour drive, I chose not to take my meds for the bus ride, skip the day. We left at 6am, and since I barely slept the night before, I knocked right out for a solid 8 of the 9 hours! It was really nice to practically wake up and just be there. We had the day to get a light practise in and then bed before our game the next afternoon. We played at noon, it was extremely hot out, for the Americans it was about 95 degrees, and for the rest of the world, it was 35 degrees! When you play on artificial grass aka turf, the field is about 5-10 degrees hotter. It’s awful on the feet, and due to the heat I ended up with more than enough blisters for the entire soccer team. It was rather disgusting and rather a pain to heal! As for the outcome of the game, we came out with a win 2-0. It was a well-fought game, we really should have scored some more, but a win is a win!
School on the other hand is becoming a struggle. Its been a few years since I’ve actually “hit the books”. I was an art major, no art isn’t an easy major and I spent countless hours on homework…but art homework is fun and it was all part of the career I wanted and still want to enter. Now that I received my diploma I have decided to get my Business Management Certificate. Classes are not only difficult, but the homework is boring and uninteresting. Financial Accounting will be the death of me this semester. It’s so incredibly confusing, you mess up one part of the statements and you mess up the entire statement! It’s already caused me a few sleepless nights and I am only just barely 2 weeks into school. I will however pass it; I will get this certificate!
In other news, well I have no other news since my life revolves around eating, sleeping, soccer and school. Haha, no complaints though…I did willingly sign up for this shenanigans.
I’ll be back with an update hopefully in the next 2 weeks, even if it is a brief one!
xx

Sunday 5 August 2012

More Drugs Please!


Lets talk about Sarah’s drug use! I don’t know if any of you know or remember but I have been on Concerta for quite some time. I have had to up the doses over the past two years, but never has the drug failed to keep me sane. Lately though I’ve been napping an unusual amount, especially with it being summertime. The drug gets me through the day but my 10-minute naps have turned into 30 minutes and now into hours. Soccer starts tomorrow, and School starts at the end of the month; I don’t have hours to spare for naps!
I went back to my sleep doctor, told him the news and he gave me three options. I could up my dose completely; go from 54mg to 72mg. I could try the fast acting Ritalin, taking it during the day at the point when I need it. Or I could take my 54mg like I do and then take the extra 18mg on days where I know I will be having a hectic schedule. All reasonable options, but since I was a day away from being back at school in Minnesota for the ever so famous “preseason” the option of fast acting Ritalin was out of question. Trying a new drug away from home wasn’t my go to, and also it is apparently a pain in the ass to even get that drug across the border; especially in the mass amount I’d be taking. Option C is what I opted for, the 54mg with the occasional day or two a week where I take two. I know my schedule for the next couple months, work outs at the same time each day, games scheduled, and of course classes beginning at the end of this month. I will give it a go and hopefully find success with it!
This month is going to be a huge task, I am a bit out of shape to say the least and working out twice a day everyday for 16 days might be the end of my sanity. Last preseason was tough, it was all new to me and it was crazy busy. Last season though, I worked out on my own everyday before I left, I was prepared. This season I can’t even put the word prepared in the same sentence. This summer I traveled for two months and worked out for one. My body will be in for it both mentally and physically but I’m determined to be on that starting line up again. Have to get through the bad to get to the good right?!
In other news this fall I will be taking business courses to finish my business administration certificate. I really am only there for the reason of soccer, but I don’t want to waste my money on stupid courses that don’t add up to anything. I will be taking about 12 credits of some courses I’ve never dipped my toes in. Financial accounting and Principles of Marketing and one other class that I can’t remember the name of make up my course schedule. They are all 4 credits and hopefully I can get it enough to do well in the classes.
I’ll be sure to update more regularly now that I’m actually staying in one country for longer than 1-4 weeks.
Cheers

Sunday 22 July 2012

Good to be Back!

 Where do I even start? This summer has been amazing, indescribable and absolutely worth every penny! For those of you who read my blog from my travels, you’ll know all the stories from day to day. Those of you, who didn’t, well you missed out of some crazy two months of travel! You can still go read it all at the website.
I spent a week traveling with my friend, and then moved on to traveling by myself. Honestly as fun as my first week was, traveling by myself was one of the most rewarding experiences. I think it forced me to be overly social, it forced me to put myself in awkward situations and it forced me to meet some of the best people out there. The amount of friends all over the globe I have come home with, the amount of memories I have with people from just two months is incredible. Ill admit I had my fears of traveling by myself, feeling lonely, feeling bored…all those fears were removed within moments when I was going for lunch, going to museums, making plans with strangers.
As for a break down of my travels, my favorite moments, I really can’t choose.
Out of the seven countries (Scotland, England, Netherlands, Belgium, France, Spain, Greece) here is my breakdown.
Scotland; although the weather was rather gloomy, the country is green, green as green gets. It’s absolutely gorgeous and the buildings are all so old and picturesque. I loved it here, and my friend’s family and friends in Scotland were all so inviting and lovely to stay with. In fact in Scotland everyone I encountered was super nice, charming bunch of people! I would go back in a heartbeat!
England; I ended my travels here; it was bittersweet being in London. I knew my trip was over, I was also pretty sick with a cold and I wasn’t overly interested in spending any more money on site seeing. I did go see everything; I just didn’t spend my money on seeing “all” of everything! It was good though, the people were fun, and the city was all cobblestone and old buildings. I don’t know if it’d be a place I’d make sure I hit next time, but its not a place I’d look over.
Netherlands; Everyone has heard of Amsterdam, everyone knows it as the red light district, where weed is legal and where everyone runs to party. For me Amsterdam was a city with great people, lots of backpackers, and lots of strangers to travel around with. I had fun there, I met a lot of Aussies, had some crazy nights out and many laughs. I also got the pleasure of meeting up with 3 different friends. Two girls I had played soccer with when I was 13-16, and one girl I had met at a wedding in Mexico nearly two years back! We had some good nights out, it was really good to meet up with them on my travels! I thoroughly enjoyed Amsterdam, and I think it really is all in thanks to the people I was lucky enough to meet!
Belgium; I’ll make it straight to the point, as a young lady I felt really uncomfortable walking the streets by myself after the hours of 6pm. I felt unsafe, and it really was a pity that only a few guys can make you feel like this and kind of ruin what little time you have to see the best of the cities. I think had I been in a bigger crowd I might have felt safer, but for me…I will easily overlook Belgium next time I travel.
France; although I only went to Paris, it was really cool seeing everything that I have seen in the media up close and personal. I felt like I was just confirming that these landmarks are actually real. I enjoyed the markets and the street vendors; the amount of aspiring artists in this city is insane. Just goes to show and remind you how hard it really is to make it ‘big’ as an artist. The downside to Paris was the expense; they thrive of tourists and will rip you right off. Paying through your teeth just for a bottle of water. Oh well!
Spain; I went to Barcelona with my two friends who I use to play soccer with. Hilary brought her boyfriend who brought his friend. So us five had 5 days to spend in Barcelona. We spent the days at the markets; I split off and did my own touristy things a few times. In the evenings we spent our time drinking down at the port. We would just sit up talking half the time talking about absolutely nothing or about all the good times we had back in the “day”. I really enjoyed seeing the girls again and I think it made my trip to Barcelona full of good memories. Aside from hanging out with the girls I did enjoy the city itself. It’s such an artsy place; the architecture, the hopeful artists and you cant forget the nightlife! ;)
Greece; I met the most people here, had the wildest nights and the best laughs. On the island Ios…within 4 hours of arriving I decided to go tubing out on the water with a big group of people. I had gone 5 or 6 weeks without a single injury and here I was out on the water tubing. As I went over a large bump out on the water, a guy’s knee found my face and the collision allowed my teeth to puncture a whole right through my lips. Here is the blog from the day it happened!
Within four hours of being in Ios i went straight to the beach with my roommate. We got asked to
be part of a tubing competition. The place I'm staying at is like a beach resort, all inclusive. So it has so many activities going on! Tubing is my favorite thing, until now haha. Seeing as the winner got a free dinner for two I had my game face on, I was ready to win. On each boat was 3 tubes tied to the back, completely normal. We all had life jackets, everything was safe. Well, aside from the fact that I was there and I'm prone to stupid injuries. Well everyone had gone and now me, my roommate Jill and this random guy were hopping on. We went out there and these guys were ripping each corner exactly like Jerry (Kelseys dad) would, desperately trying to make us fall off. On this one particular corner, he whipped out to my opposing side, then whipped back to my side super quick. In doing that I had two tubes coming at me, nothing out of the ordinary but as the guys tube was coming for the bumps on the outside I hit a bad one which flipped me so when I came down (still holding on might I add) I made contact with his wonderfully hard and boney knee. In doing so I placed my teeth through my lip. Literally, I wish I was joking, but nope, this hole in my lip immediately started gushing blood, clotted blood not runny blood it was soo gross. I didn't cry once though, it was more a oh fuck, this would happen to me. I got into the boat and the guy went to the first aid kit only to find it full of sand and dirt! Haha, no thanks! They asked me what happened and I said "not sure what part of his body I hit but my mouth fucking hurts".
They couldn't see what was wrong cause there was so much blood, once we got into shore I jumped outta the boat and went to the guys, the ooo's and ahhh's over my face really didn't help. When I got to the guy who "takes care of these situations" he grabbed some gauze and wiped away the blood. He was looking at it going "hmm looks like you might be lucky it's only a small scrape!". I wanted to believe him, but no, this was not the amount of blood or pain a small scrape would cause. After getting some iodine on it, he realized it was cut straight through, that was when he asked "do you have anything you need to grab before I take you to the hospital?" haha, stitches time!
We got in the truck I told him not to let me see a mirror. I didn't care what I looked like I just was worried the blood or something might make me nauseous or go into shock. Half way through the car ride I turned to him and said "totally random, but are my teeth still in order and not chipped? My parents paid good money and would be pissed" he laughed. Luckily my teeth were still good lol.
When we got to the hospital, and by hospital I mean a shack with a plus + sign hanging above it. Apparently that is the qualifications required these days! We went straight into the one room, the guy told me to hop on the bed. Now I don't understand doctors, you see blood and bruising already, couldn't you try and be gentle?! Seriously he grabbed my lip lifting it up and down checking the damages on the inside and outside. By now I was shakey from the pain, kind of nervous too. I don't like trusting strangers! Especially when it's my face ahaha!
He got out a needle, fuck my life is all I could think. As he got out the needle I said "ok, word of caution warn me of these things I don't want to see them... Also since you drove me here..you're now entitled to hold my hand" ha, they both chuckled and the one guy grabbed my hand while the doctor went to town. 4 needles later I was numb in the mouth and he got out the needle and thread. I think he's qualified to do stitches on the body, not the face haha. Oh well. 10 stitches in the face...
The poor guy who was holding my hand probably was disgusted by me, my palms were so sweaty and he had to be holding them! After it was done I said, "sorry bout my sweaty palms I don't even know your name. But I'm Sarah! Nice to meet you" his name was Jamie.
After this all he cleaned it and bandaged it, and I was set to go until tomorrow when I had to check back with him. No pool, no ocean, no water on my face... I think he forgot I came to Greece for those very things. Oh boy..
I have some solid whip lash, a bruised chin, cheek bone, eyebrow and of course lip. I look super cute, all the boys are lining up. Whoever said milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard clearly never had 10 stitches and a swollen face. 
Either way Greece was amazing, gorgeous, and the water was perfect temperature. The crazy wild nights, the heart to hearts with the strangers all allotted me to decide the Greece wins over for best “overall” travel experience.

Now all you narcoleptics and all you without...you may be curious how little narcoleptic Sarah managed while she was gone. I am happy and thrilled to say that narcolepsy never got in my way of anything. I was tired on some days, but i was also on vacation and had very little deadlines to meet. Catching the train around was sometimes worrisome, i feared falling asleep, missing my stop...etc. I am lucky to say the least and grateful that I've got it under control for the time being. I just hope it remains this "easy" for some time to come!
Now I best be off, will update soon as I will be back at College in two weeks to start Soccer season again! Excited to say the least!
Ciao

Tuesday 15 May 2012

be back in 7 weeks;

Time for me to embark on my adventure
I thought about posting blog updates on here but have decided its best not to
I am not sure how suited my blogs over the next 7 weeks will be to post here
Therefore I have started a new temporary blog.
Sleeping Around In Europe
Real clever.
You can choose to follow or not, but it's there for the next 7 weeks.
Have a good start to your summer!
I'll be back blogging and catching up on reading in time!

Wednesday 9 May 2012

bittersweet;


Skipping a nap because you don’t want to miss out on something, not making a decision about plans for your Friday until you get the best offer, whatever it may be I am pretty sure I’ve been guilty. I’ve learned to stop having expectations, I’ve learned the less I know about a situation the better time I usually have. Things like asking whose all going to be there before I decide if I am going to go the social gathering or the party. Spur of the moment decisions are the best and I truly believe that, maybe that’s why I am good at procrastinating. That probably is the reason backpacking attracts me, not knowing exactly what I’m doing each day, it intrigues me I suppose. Too much of unknown things bored me…
Where am I going with this blog, I have no idea. I’ve had some difficulty staying sane these past few days. I have hated this city, I have loved this city, and I have resented being in this city, but yet I am not ready to leave. This city is nothing like home, not a place I dream of calling home, but it’s a city that I’ve had a lot of experiences in. Moving away, not knowing a single soul, living on my own, attending college. I wouldn’t say I am all grown up, but compared to 10 months ago, I feel like I have grown up.
I can’t find the time to pack, I have the time, I just can’t find the energy to pack up. It’s almost like I don’t want to leave, I am not ready to leave, and that’s why I can’t pack up my things. 10 months ago I wasn’t ready to leave, I was terrified of leaving home. I was terrified of loosing friends, missing out on things, not having experiences shared with my best friends. Now I’m terrified of leaving here and loosing friends. I only have a few months of being good friends with some of these people, how can I be sure in 80 or 90 days when I come back here that we can start where we left off? I can’t be sure, and for that I am bothered by it. My good friends back home, some of the best I know are people that I have shared many experiences with, we all keep in touch through blogging (personal blogs) and we all catch up within moments of seeing each other. I use to worry about getting off track, but I know now that we’re all capable of keeping in touch because I’ve lived through it. Having friends all over the map, well this is a new one. Although there are people here I don’t much care for, there are about 5 I do. Out of those 5, how many will I ever see again? It just is something that’s been on my mind, something that is making it difficult for me to pack my things.
Not everyone you meet, become friends with, or become best friends with are meant to stay in your life. No matter how much you want them too, every relationship you have is a two way street. It’s something I need to remember; I often find myself working hard to keep a friendship alive when in the end my time could be better spent. My friendships made here, everyone that walked in and out of my life, either made my time here more enjoyable or taught me a lesson. I guess it’s time I leave I it up to faith to decide who sticks around in my life and who was only temporary.
While I’ve just posted about meaningless thoughts, I think its time I cracked a beer open and went to work on packing my things. I’ll end this with some pictures as some of you have requested I post pictures more often! ;) Also, i get i am going to school for photography...don't mind the complete %#^$ quality of the following photographs, they were all taken with my ipod touch! Haha!
 Happy thoughts
Day of setting up gallery; notice the tea in hand. Tired Narcoleptic!

Images up on the wall, all printed at 20" x 30"

Opening Night of the Gallery, Happy Narcoleptic!

Abstract Painting I had to make for class


Self Portrait Painting I had to make

Painting I made for a good friends birthday (his favourite cartoon!)
Drawing before painting it, from the movie UP! by Pixar
Final Painting, Up! by Pixar
Lady & The Tramp, Just a painting I did for fun 


Sunday 29 April 2012

The End is Near;


Procrastination; a technique I have mastered in college. I think the fact that I get so tired helps me keep putting assignments off. I know I have an assignment due in a week, but I also know when I get finished with class at 5:30 and get done at the gym around 7, I will be exhausted. I will go home, force myself to eat before passing out for another night. Lately my procrastination has hit a whole new level. I finished my final project, it went up in the gallery and I felt accomplished and good about the work I put in the show. I was exhausted from all the effort I put into it in the leading weeks. When I was done and it was one thing off my list, I kind of felt like not working on anymore homework, like I was just done for the year. Too bad that’s not the case and I have about 6 more assignments to get on with.
Survival mode is something narcoleptics are familiar with, the times when either we weren’t medicated or we weren’t medicated properly. We do everything in our will power to remain functioning; we do everything to stay sane. I am properly medicated, I’ve got everything in order but if I don’t get that good nights sleep survival mode is within arms reach. If I miss 3 nights of a good nights rest, well survival mode is where I end up.
Last week I stayed up late watching a movie on Netflix, it was fine it was the weekend and I could sleep in the next day. I got 8 hours (weekends I usually get 10-12), woke up for practise. Sunday I hung out with a few friends, didn’t get to bed till about 1 or 2 am. Got 7 hours sleep. Was all right, took my supplements made it through the day but was super tired. Monday night however I was up working on a project I had completely procrastinated, left till the last minute. I had all the images I needed for this PowerPoint presentation but needed to learn my facts so I could give the expected 10-15 minute speech to the class. 11 o’clock at night I got off to a mediocre start, 11:30 a friend called crying. Next thing you know I am driving my friend to the emergency room and speaking to cop about domestic violence. At the end of the day, not upset about it, just happy she is all right and her boyfriend got dealt with appropriately. I finally got home that night at 2:30-3am. I still had to present my project in the morning at 11:30am. I still knew next to nothing about the facts to give that speech. I stayed up till 5:30am. Went to bed, woke up at 9:30, caught a ride to school with my roommate and managed to work a little more on the presentation. Worst part is that I worked so hard on the presentation but in our class we didn’t have time to get to my presentation, I now would have 2 more days till that class. I hate working hard on something that is due, completing it, then finding out I could have slacked and gotten away with it! That’s just the procrastinating mind speaking!
With all the lack of sleep, my mind was depleted I was struggling to stay awake; I was giving in to the horrid snacking/caffeine ritual to get by.  The next day I took a narcoleptic day and ended up skipping a class to go sleep. I didn’t even set my alarm to wake up. Four hours later I felt refreshed enough to do my homework then back to bed for some Netflix and a much needed nights rest. End of the school year means more stress and a lot of projects to keep track of for all my classes. I am extremely happy to see the end nearing!
College has taught me a lot; I’ve met a lot of people, had new experiences and just generally became a more independent person. I never expected college to be like this, and maybe it’s the fact that I attend a small college, but I’ve never experienced so much drama in one year of school. Seriously it blew my mind, we’re suppose to be adults, putting high school days behind us, yet I found everyone to be digging for drama. My parents would laugh at me for saying this, but I feel older than I am. I honestly feel like the amount of things I’ve accomplished, experienced, been part of and seen should put me at my Brothers age of 21. It seems silly, but when I put myself next to another 18 year old, it’s rare I find them mature enough or intriguing enough to have a somewhat serious conversation with. I also think it’s the fact that the degree I am going for (Photography) is such a short schooling that I feel like I’m starting a career earlier than most. It’s kind of intimidating to me, maybe it’s the reason I am intrigued by more schooling. I think that diving into a career at 18 or 19 when all my friends are just starting school is odd, maybe it’s the fact that it would make me feel like more of an adult and responsible and I don’t feel ready to stop goofing around and wasting away some of my teenage years. We all have to grow up, but stepping out of school and stepping into a career is a frightening move for me. Good thing it’s only a solid 7-8 months away.
13 Days till I am home in Canada
17 Days till I start my 8 week adventure backpacking Europe


Sleep Well fellow Narcoleptics!

Sunday 8 April 2012

Long Awaited;


I owe you all an update on my life. I am sorry to those who actually read this blog on a regular basis, but I have been lacking this past month! I am going to blame it on life and me having my priorities somewhat in a scuffle. I am not slacking in school or anything but I have added more to my daily plate with workouts and it seems to be bettering me but also knocking time out of my day to finish everything; hence me failing to blog regularly.
For starters school is in the last stretch, close to finishing up this photography program and having all these late nights and tedious projects be worth it. My painting and drawing class aka 2D Design has been a rather large learning curve for me. I can honestly say this class has been enlightening to me. It has helped my photography in the sense of thinking about composition in a more thoughtful way, and really thinking about how colours communicate to a viewer different emotion. For that I am thankful I took the class, for the amount of work it put me through each week outside of class I dread it!
My intermediate photography class has a project that lasts 5 weeks; each week you take 576 photographs. Each week you print your 5 favourites, get a critique from your classmates and move on. At the end of it all you choose 20, they have to have a common theme, they have to flow together. It’s been challenging for me, I chose night shooting; it’s my favourite time to shoot inanimate objects. The sun goes down around 830pm right now, which leaves me photographing late at nights. It’s hard to always find people to tag along with me, and it’s hard to take 576 photographs a week when one photograph has the exposure of 30 seconds!! It will definitely be interesting selecting my final 20, not sure where I am going with this project!
My Photo lighting class has been enlightening; we had a guest speaker the other day. He is a commercial photographer who makes a living off of photographing inanimate objects. He photographs anything from air duct systems to construction sites. He does a lot of work, and makes a good living off of it. After listening to him talk, and hearing what he does each day to make his living, I have decided that I love photographing people, and the commercial side is something that I don’t see myself in. Although I could make money photographing a piping system, I don’t get the enjoyment out of photographing something I can’t interact with. As far as the class goes, it is kicking my ass right now. Having to book studio time and not being able to take lighting equipment off campus for a shoot makes it crucial that I plan a schedule and that I make use of my 2 hours in the studio. Almost done though!
Art Portfolio is my photography class in which has a gallery showing where we show a project that we’ve made out of our own passions. Ongoing projects are more about fine arts and creating a series of themed images based on an interest or investigating a topic. For me I investigated self-image and how we as humans (mainly females) have learnt to see ourselves. It was an interesting project for me, I don’t see myself as self-conscious so I’ve never really thought about it. Exploring self-image allowed me to really see the issues women have with themselves these days, the constant need to change the way they look. I am happy with the outcome of my images, and I am happy to have them in this gallery showing. I however am intrigued to hear the responses from those viewing them. The show opens April 17th, so I will let you know the response I get from everyone! I will also post images of them up in the gallery!
Now that we are up to date on school I will fill you in on my spare time! I am still taking the energy supplement V16 Energy Drink from Advocare. It is still working wonderfully and is a great pick me up before my daily workouts. I have started to workout in a more intense manner than before. After soccer season I would run, I would do stairs, simple things here and there to maintain my shape. Now however I have decided to step it up, running at least 2 miles a day and working in either an arm workout or legs. On top of this all, a few of us soccer girls have been doing sprints to help get us back in “soccer season” shape. Although it’s making me extremely sore and tired in the moment… I am finding it giving me more energy in the long run! Having teammates to train with is just making it that much easier to stick with; motivation is always around me!
That is that for the update!  I get to go back to Canada in 34 days, I will be leaving to Europe in 38 days and really I just want to get my summer on the way! I am incredibly excited for what this summer will bring, a huge learning curve will probably be on order the moment I set foot in Europe. Until then, time to remain focused on school and getting myself out of here sane!
Till next time! 

Saturday 10 March 2012

Spring Break;


Spring break has never been so needed. I am going to love every single one of the 10 days off. I am exhausted; I have been in deep waters with my photography classes, finishing projects, starting new projects. It’s a never-ending circle.
My art portfolio class, although it only meets once a week, it is pretty demanding. We have had to create a lot of paper work that will eventually help us get a job in the art industry should we choose to. A lot of work sheets, papers, self-exploration on who influenced us as artists, who we want to be as an artist, what our final project is about. It’s demanding and I haven’t written so many papers since probably tenth grade. It’s worthwhile, just time consuming. I am usually good with words when I have to write them down, but writers block and procrastination have allowed me to stay up till the wee hours of the morning in attempts to meet deadlines.
2D design is a class that really has no photography aspects, we work on painting, drawing, perception projects, anything art related and complicated is probably how I would describe it. Our latest and greatest project is a self-portrait. Can you say awkward? I can, I can also say I find it kind of almost creepy drawing myself, and then staring at a portrait of myself to make sure while painting it turns out exactly like the picture. Yeah not a huge fan of the project, but thankfully it’s not due until after spring break! I also got my midterm grade for this class, 84% also known as a B. This is exactly what I was shooting for in this class, now I just need to keep it going for the next two months.
Intermediate Photo class is going well, for being a photo class we’ve learned a lot about software. It has been extremely helpful, not that I want to edit or “photoshop” my images but its helpful to know how! The simplest thing like a smudge in the mirror can be magically erased with the simplest of knowledge. It’s been helpful to say the least. Our final project for that class is to take 3000 pictures on a basic theme and then once May comes around we are to pick our top 20 to print and hang. It’s supposed to help us realize what goes into a “body of work”. I think 4 weeks to expose 3000 themed pictures is a bit insane, but then again I do have a lot of other photo classes to be working on. I am thinking my theme will be night shots, I love night shooting and I love black and white images, and together they always turn out pretty cool!
Photo Lighting class, oh boy oh boy. That is one class that I have learned a lot in and one class that has made me realize I will never work a 9-5 job doing studio shoots. Setting up and taking down a lighting set up is painful, and I only enjoy it when it’s for my own creative thoughts/images. If it’s for a commercial or still life image, count me out. I have come to realize I like working with people and the natural still life outdoors. Bring in still life to “set up” and aesthetically position for ONE picture… no thank you. Not my thing, it’s cool and I enjoy looking at pictures of it…you just wont find me making images of still life in a studio. I like shooting a subject I can interact in.
That about wraps up my crazy life. This break I am going to begin my night scene shooting, finalize my final art portfolio project/resume/bio/artist statement and also get in some quality sleep. This break will be slightly different than the last ones, as my friends from home are still in class they don’t have break when I do. I am fine with that though, all I want to do is sit in front of the television and sleep.

Thursday 9 February 2012

Back on Track;

This semester is one that is going to be tougher than the last, my Monday through Thursdays are absolute hell for narcolepsy. I am beginning to feel my body deteriorate and barely having enough time to recuperate on the weekends. I have had little time to have a nap on my days of school, and when I do get to nap it's not until 6 or 7pm. If I nap at that time, I am up later doing homework. It's a viscous circle, I can't seem to win. On top of this all I am finding myself going back into the days of "survival mode". Survival mode for me is back when I didn't have the knowledge of narcolepsy and I clearly wasn't medicated. Survival mode involves eating more than I need too, drinking high sugar drinks, high caffeine drink and well doing all that unhealthy shenanigans just to get myself through the day! Sure I am surviving but I am killing my body and having crashes that are far worse than they need to be.
Time for me to get a new plan, get back on track for working out. I need to find the energy to work out because working out helps my overall energy and feeling good about my self is always a plus! I have gained a few measly pounds, nothing serious but because I have noticed I need to get rid of them! I am by no means over weight for my height/age, but my ideal weight is about 5-10 pounds lighter.
I've done my research, asked around about different ideas for having a higher energy diet. Maybe finding some supplements that can help me and my body find the energy/will to do everything I need to do. What I have found is Spark Energy Drink. Its distributed by AdvoCare and honestly a lot of the athletes at my school are using it. Some may not need it, but this narcoleptic is wanting to give it a try.
AdvoCare Spark Energy Drink Info
Click the link if you want to see what it is. I have it ordered and am looking forward to hopefully seeing/feeling the benefits! Next on the list is cutting out these sugar snacks! I eat them to keep me awake, they work for the purpose intended. They also work against me in being unhealthy, and causing me to crash faster. Looks like I will be purchasing healthier snack ideas and limit myself to one in between my two classes. Hopefully the spark drink will be enough!
I guess I will start with Spark and see where it takes me. I still take my Vitamin C and my Women's One a Day as supplements and they seem to help. At least I feel like I notice when I forget to take them!!
Alright that's the narcoleptic update for you!
Next is three images that are the start for my final project. They are watermarked because images I post on here can easily be found on google, or taken. Since it is my final project that will end up in my schools gallery showing, I don't want the risk! My final project is basically about how women are influenced by society as to how they view themselves. A self image project perhaps looking at the negative/positive effects society has on our perception on our self.
Have a good weekend!


Tuesday 10 January 2012

Resolutions would be great if you stuck to it;


“New year, new me”
Goodness gracious how many times I have heard this, read this or whatever. It’s been ten days into 2012 and I have no resolutions. I have goals to accomplish this semester, things I want to see and do this year, but no resolutions. Besides most university kids have a tough time sticking with it… they keep “restarting” their resolutions. It makes me laugh.
This semester of school will be a semester filled with little free time. In fact last night I had 4 hours of free time and I spent it relaxing and reading. I am only two days into this semester; that being said I have gone to each class once, gotten the course outline and of course received our first assignments. Don’t get me wrong, I love photography but I’m beginning to think along the lines of everything in moderation.
To accomplish my degree I have to take a 2D design class, it’s full of drawing, painting and everything in between. I don’t want to say I hate drawing; I don’t want to say I love it. I will however say I hate being told what to draw. Generally speaking I hate being told what to do, my parents can vouch for that one. Haha! This course is two days a week for a total of 5 hours in class time. On top of this all we are expected to spend 4-10 hours of our own time each week working on various projects. 4 hours is what reflects a C grade, 10 is reflective of an A grade…so he says. The worst part about this class is its all graded on ability. Yes you get graded for putting effort and thought in but like my instructor said “Some things you’ll be good at, others you wont be, not everyone is amazing at each project we do. I don’t expect to give out very many A’s in this class”. Great, superb, fantastic… I wanted to be graded on things I suck at. Sorry for the abundant amounts of sarcasm, clearly I am not excited about this class. My goal for this class is a C, and to not miss a single class of it. That way I have the extra points for attendance to at minimum boost my grade.
My intermediate photography class looks like it is going to have more of a creative freedom to it. We have projects, but we really have freedom to photograph whatever we wish. Guidelines are set but creativity is endless. I think I’ll really enjoy this class and my instructor is the one from my intro class last semester. He is good at what he does and has a lot to teach. Now that it’s intermediate I think I will get more out of the class. In this class alone we are expected to take 550 photos a week starting 4th week of semester. Generally speaking they have to be themed, so that in itself causes difficulty and forces you to find 550 different but similar things. I am aiming for an A in this class.
Photo Lighting Techniques is my class that meets twice a week on Tuesdays & Thursdays for 5 hours total/week. I think I will really enjoy this class, it has a lot to teach and I have a lot to learn. This class is mainly based on photography in the studio; setting up lighting situations. Basically I have to think up images and then craft them. It should be interesting and I have the same instructor as I did for my darkroom class. She is awesome, a really fun personality, but also the type of instructor that is your biggest fan whilst still being your biggest critic. It’s a good thing I think, she gets a lot out of her students. I hope to achieve an A, but not sure how tough these assignments are going to become…We’ll aim for an A but a B+ I think would be acceptable!
Art portfolio is a class that meets once a week for 2.5 hours. It’s a class that is taught collectively by my 2D Design instructor and my Photo Lighting class instructor. They should be a good duo. I look forward to this class. It will definitely help me decide how exactly I want to build my portfolio. Help to show me which artists will help influence me to be a better photographer. It should be a good class but I feel like since it only meets once a week I’ll have a tougher time staying on top of things… procrastination has never been that good to me! I think a B+ or an A seems achievable!
Lastly I am taking an online course just for the extra credits, GPA booster. It is a woman’s health class. It looks fairly simple, but guess I’ll have more of an opinion after I finish the first assignment and get my mark back. I think it’ll also be interesting to read about all the health problems out there. I am shooting for an A!
Anyways that’s my class load. Those 4 classes are all considered studio classes; meaning I am expected to have to work on my own time for 4-6 hours outside each class. Sometimes more, sometimes less! Looks like I will be getting 24 hours in on homework a week. Stressed is how I feel about that!
As for my goal with this blog, I would like to post more often than I have in the past. I think a goal of 4 blogs a month seems reasonable. A blog once a week seems achievable. Expect more about school, and more about my sleep schedule. My sleep schedule shall be interesting! Haha.

Side note, if you’ve commented about getting in contact with me over facebook or over email and I didn’t reply to your comments or I did and you never saw them… I will say this as a general statement. I prefer to keep my facebook off limits, I don’t check it nearly as often as I use too. My email however may be used. If you wish you contact me, or have questions… sarahbeaulieu@live.ca
Have a good week
Sarah